It is so strange to deal with pain. Struggling to find a meaning to it. It is so much easier to close your eyes to it, to put on your armor, to hide from it, making your way through all these different emotions, and then putting your life on hold. I think that is what I am trying to do right now. It will be one-month tomorrow that dad left us, and it seems like it was yesterday. I guess the hourglass has no meaning, only time itself will make things fall into place. The time that one cannot measure, the time to cry, the time to ponder and reflect, the time to laugh and rejoice, the time to deal with everything when your life has become a kaleidoscope of memories.
Zoé still talks about Papy Moustache and Grandpa Larry; we light a candle for them every night at dinner time.
It has become our little ritual. It is the flickering light that shimmers in our living room and reminds us of their presence, in our lives, in our hearts.
It hurts.
As the title of this post mentions, life must go on and so we have decided that after a "rotten" summer we would try to take a 2-day vacation to Yosemite. We leave in a few hours, and it helps me to know that I am going to a place where I have no memories of Dad. I want to go to a place where we didn't go together, it is too painful to go back to spots we shared together like Ano Nuevo, Napa, Santa Cruz, etc.
Zoé's schedule is as busy as ever, we've been doing so much: Discovery Bay Museum, Fairyland, Habitot, you name it. Now it is time for the great outdoor, the pristine landscapes, the fresh air, the views, the trees.
We will fill you in on our next Californian adventure once we get back, on Sunday evening.
Till then we send you much love and wish you a fun-filled weekend.
No comments:
Post a Comment