Thursday, January 9, 2014

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year dear readers, and may 2014 be a year of peace, joy, health and personal fulfillment.

I have been rather swamped after our fun-filled trip down south. We seized the opportunity of a 10-day break to enjoy the sunny rays of Southern California and what glorious days. Swimming, soaking the heat in the jacuzzi, jumping in the waves, looking at gorgeous sunsets, eating scrumptious food and to top it all off, elbowing our way through Disneyland, California adventure park and Knotts Berry Farm.

Where we got some stares...but I am quite blind to them. Who cares if Zoé is being looked at because she is in a stroller that is almost too small, because she simply cannot walk through the crowds, running from Mickey to the Mean Queen (I will refresh your memory, the mean queen in Snow white) to a ride that's a mile away and back again. We tested her patience, and it was hard, but she managed to pull through, when wait time for some rides were an hour long! But what the heck Peter Pan is worth it, flying over London in a ship to the Land of Neverland...we'll wait for that one.

Now we are back to the grind, reuniting with the routine and hoping for a healthy and peaceful year ahead.

What are my New Year 's resolutions, you might ask, as is customary at this time of year? First off, well to take care of the body and the mind. To cut myself some slack and to not sweat the small stuff. Easier said than done when I know that parenting doesn't come with a guide book. And as Bethany Hamilton said:"I don't need easy. I just need possible."

I volunteered in Zoé's classroom today and it was nice to see her knowing names of classmates, saying "no" to a friend who suggested a game Zoé didn't want to play at recess. She is becoming more assertive and can now stand her ground and say what she thinks. I like that!

Except when she is the master manipulator and blatantly says to her swim instructor and in front of me: "Today I won't listen to anything you say because my mommy is watching, but when I come on Saturday with my daddy I will follow your instructions!!" Oh well , assertion is what we want, right? I have been fighting that one, so I pick my battles. I'll give her that one. It is probably her sense of humor, knowing that I will just smile and laugh out loud inside.

Never a dull moment.

We have a busy two weeks ahead: a Body Motion Analysis at Shriners hospital in Sacramento on Monday. Where they put probes all over Zoé's body to get a 3-D imaging of her body and skeleton. We did it 2 years ago and wanted a baseline then. Now we want to see if she has improved.  Zoé loves to see how she is transformed into some kind of robot-like figure on the computer. Hopefully it will be easier to have her follow instructions. Two years ago we had to pretend she was such and such princess regally walking from one end of the room and back again bribing her with chocolate ice-cream if she did well....

Hopefully this time I can stay in the bleachers cheering her on to follow instructions.

Then I go to UC Davis for a muscle and strength study.  I did it a year and a half ago and it was once again a baseline. We'll see what has changed. I know it will be hard to see how well I perform.  Last time I did it I was so exhausted on the way back that I pulled over into Macy's parking lot to snooze for 10 minutes.
The drive is always intense and especially after exerting myself for over an hour.

I then go for a sleep study, I managed to make an appointment, so we'll see how that goes.

Sometimes I am so blasé by these appointments that I wonder how my life would be without them.

But then again I ponder and reflect and ask myself why is it this way? But I don't know any other way. I have one child and two diseases to battle!
I wear the caregiver's armor when I need to care for Zoé, which I wear 24-7 365 days a year and then the me armor when Zoé is in bed or in class and I get a chance to work on the body.

I like to think about what Mother Teresa said, which hits home when I am in crisis mode:
"I know God will not give me anything I can't handle.  I just wish that he didn't trust me so much."

It is just hard at times to always be performant in everything you do. So this year, I will stop and reflect and breathe. So funny how we forget to take these long, slow, deep breaths that are essential to pump the oxygen, and fill our lungs with air and peace and quiet.

Yesterday, I picked up Zoé at an after school play date and one of her friend's dad asked her "How was Disneyland? Was it fun?" and Zoé dashing off, pretending to be Cinderella, yelled; "NO!". Great, I need to work on social expectations.  People might think she is being rude.  At the very least they'll think she is just awkward
Zoé doesn't understand  that sometimes being who she is will offend people.
It takes Herculean efforts to bring back Zoé to earth when she is in fantasy land, where she thinks that she's Doctor Mc Stuffins or Princess Sofia.

On a different note, I have been working on little "homework" projects with Zoé, just so that she gets ready for first grade. You are probably thinking that I am nuts adding to the load, but I want Zoé to understand that school is serious business and that HW will be part of it come first grade. I know I shouldn't be afraid of Zoé's skills, but I don't want her to fall behind. It's a tricky situation. Everything is hard: tracing, writing, coloring, cutting, lacing, simply focusing. When Zoé was at recess today she rested with her head on the ground. She said her neck hurt. I know how the pain can affect her in every little thing she does. Sitting still on a chair or on the floor at circle time is tough, navigating the playground, running. And now, a new thing we try to work on is the drool. Zoé who never drooled, does it constantly. I don't know whether it is the high palate or the new sets of teeth...but it is really hard to prevent. I need to see what can be done.

In the meantime I don't give up faith that we'll find a way. Zoé deserves my faith and hope, and she will get it. I will not give up. The beat goes on!

Moby Dick

With Daddy O

Knott's Berry Farm and the Peanut Gallery


Snoop Doggy Dog

Vamos a la playa

First movie ever

Who's the fairest of them all?

Princess Sofia

Engrossed in the movie : Frozen!

Little fashionista

Like my do?