Monday, July 13, 2009
I want to share what two of my friends wrote me recently. Comments on the blog or online really inspire me to write more and add depth to my posts. Soul searching is necessary. I do agree, numbness is an easy place to hide into, but celebrating and rejoicing are imperative to allow our little ones to thrive and blossom into beautiful, caring and compassionate people.
It's now almost midnight and I'm Zoe'd out. I read pretty much all of the blog. It was inspiring, funny, fascinating, educational, moving, sweet, impressive, etc. You have done a fantastic job on it. I know it must be a good release for you to write down and chronicle the challenges of your and Zoe's situation. I have thought many times how you don't get the special "firsts" that most mothers get. Actually, yours may even be more special by the time they become a "first". I want to say that I wish for you and David to try for a second and that he/she is without special needs, but that somehow seems to discredit how wonderful Zoe is. It would just be nice to see you enjoy a simple day of mothering, or at least have the time to enjoy a drink in your hand.
I really want to thank you for sharing your blog with me... it is so incredibly thoughtful and for me just inspiring. I think it made me realize how I cope with most trauma in my life is just by doing, doing, doing that I forget to feel, and that can be dangerous. I realize that I haven't allowed myself the space to be vulnerable and just feel the wide spectrum of emotions. When I initially found out about M.'s diagnosis I worked through the emotions and pain at that time and just moved into a mode of scheduling appts, contacting doctors, lining up services ASAP that I told myself "I'm over it" I just need to do what M. needs most right now. I'm realizing now that my emotional numbness is preventing me from truly celebrating his recent accomplishments with genuine joy...
Well, I just want to thank you for allowing me to do some soul searching tonight as I read yours and Kayla's mom's blogs. I think I just might start doing some writing myself...