Monday, December 8, 2014

Another Birthday, Another Year

7 the lucky number...

Yes, 7 years already that our life was altered forever,  so many intense memories of the darkness we were thrown into, the newness of life, the modified normalcy that would become our normal, our daily rituals of therapies, or classes. Seven years of patience, of cries and joys, of fear and comfort, of anger and pain, but seven years of love.

Love that cures it all. Unconditional love.

I often think of the past, of how different my life was, and how strong I have become. The memory of the heart alleviates the opacity that permeates reminders of the past, like precious relics that one keeps hidden away for sometimes they are too painful to recollect.  We forget minute details, we forget the first day Zoé wore the helmet, the first day she was fitted with AFOs, the first blisters on her scalp due to the tight helmet, the blisters on her feet because of the orthotics, the serial casting we did on her feet that pained her so, the first few weeks in the NICU, the isolette and then there is the today, the drawings Zoé shares, the math skills she acquires, the new songs she learns at school, how she can stand on a horse and not fear heights, the joy she brings to our life, the feistiness we cherish, the sense of humor she displays, the questions she wonders about, and the Zoé who never ends to surprise us.

But the fear remains.
The fear of how her heart will continue to thrive, how she might change due to her weak muscles, how stamina will affect her daily life, how sitting on the carpet at circle time hurts her back and neck, how walking long distances might become harder as she gets older.

But like a child, I have decided that I would live everyday as it comes. Why fear the future when you don't know what it holds? Why highlight events that have not happened yet? Why enumerate the hardships, like a shopping list, that I can check once they have happened?
Just LIVE and let go. Not the Frozen rendition of this song, but just let go of the fears, the stress, the terror of what lies ahead, and let go of the world NORMAL.

Zoé has overcome mountains of milestones and challenges, with defiance and obstination, she has come a long ways.

I look at her now, with her feisty personality and her never ending love for playing and singing.

This new chapter is inspiring and I feel blessed to have joined the MDF community. Seven years that have taught me so much, seven years that have enabled me to encounter unbelievable people, seven years of new discoveries, of new feats, of new trials, of new studies, of new hopes for a cure.

Wishing you a bounty of blessings and joyous holidays.
May 2015 bring us one more year towards a cure.

With love and fondness,

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